A-Spot: A cluster of nerves located in the vagina, near the cervix. The enjoyment of deep penetration is often caused by stimulation of the A-spot. (Not to be confused with the anus, which is also referred to as the A-Spot.)
Abrasion: Dictionary term meaning a wearing, grinding, or rubbing away by friction. In BDSM play this would see also stimulating the surface of the body with abrasive materials such as rough silk, leather, sandpaper, brushes, etc. (See also: Cutting, Knife Play)
After Care : In BDSM, after care is the period of time after a scene in which partners attend to one another's physical, emotional and psychological needs. Typically, the dominant partner in the scene will be the one caring for the submissive partner or partners. BDSM scenes are often very intense, and can often be emotionally and psychologically draining. Physical injuries are also not uncommon during these scenes.
Age Play: Acting as and portraying a certain age or age range, typically of an infant or child. May include using a pacifier, blankie, diapers, or onesies. (See also: Infantalism)
Alarm Clock: A partner who wakes you up for morning sex.
Ally: Someone who supports members of the LGBTQ community while they are not necessarily a member of this community themselves.
Alpha Male: A dominant male. A leader of a group of males who generally has first choice when it comes to selecting potential mates from a group of females. In younger males, dominance is often related to physical dominance or an aggressive personality. In older men, dominance is expressed in terms of wealth, power, and control. Synonyms: big dicker, stud
Anal Beads: A class of sex toy consisting of balls of various size strung together on a string or a flexible rod. Pleasure is not as much derived from the insertion of these beads, as from their extraction. Despite how tempting it may be, anal beads should not be ripped out with the same enthusiasm with which one yanks the cord of a lawnmower. Synonyms: Chinese/Oriental love beads, string of pearls, siamese strings.
Anal Bleaching: A cosmetic procedure in which chemicals or lasers are used to lighten the darker skin around the anus in order to make it match the lighter skin of the buttock. The process originated with female porn performers before seeping into mainstream populations in the early 2000s with the rise of free, online porn.
Anal Plug : More commonly known as a butt plug, it is a sex toy with a specific design for anal insertion. An anal plug will have a flared based to prevent toy from traveling farther like most anal toys however, will also tend to be a little shorter and tapered to be held and stay inside the rectum.
Anal Sex: Sexual intercourse through penetration of the anus in both men and women. This practice is becoming more socially acceptable in Western society but is still considered taboo in other religious and cultural communities here and around the world. It is common for both heterosexual and LGBTQ partners alike, and leads to a phenomenon known as anal orgasms in both men (prostate orgasms) and women (usually G-spot orgasms). Anal nerves are very sensitive and can cause unique orgasms on their own.
Androgynous: This describes someone or something that is gender neutral or non-gendered. It can refer to things like clothing or social status.
Androgyny: A mixture of both masculine and feminine features or expressions. Could refer to someone of dual gender identity or someone who simply has no gender. An individual who is androgynous is neither overtly masculine or feminine.
Animal Role Play
Animal Role Play: Games in which one or more partners, usually the bottom, takes on the role of an animal. Most common is probably a dog, or puppy boy/girl though horses are also popular. The 'animal' may imitate animal behavior such as wear items like collars, leads, bridles and so on, or carry out tasks associated with animal behavior.
Areola: The area of skin around the nipple for males and females that is usually darker than the rest of the breast.
Aroma: Scents and smells. It's not uncommon to have a fetish for different aromas, especially those occurring naturally by people, such as sweat and natural musk, but can also extend to perfumes and colognes, flowers, food, and bodily functions producing smells. (Example: It is common for people with a foot fetish to be turned on by the smell of feet.)
Arousal: Sexual excitement usually followed by physical responses in the body including but not limited to: dilated pupils, fast breathing, increase heart rate and blood pressure, swelling of erectile tissue (in both men and women), hardened nipples, goosebumps, shaking legs, dizziness, and last but not least heightened sensation (often tingling or waves of pleasure) in the sexual organs and other erogenous zones.
Asexuality: Lack of sexual attraction or sexual orientation. Individuals who identify as asexual generally have a low or absent interest in sexual activity.
ASMR: "Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response" is the phenomenon that materializes as a pleasurable tingling in your head, scalp, neck, back, or other sensation as a result of experiencing a pleasurable trigger. ASMR can be caused by sounds, sights, or cognitive stimuli. These can include crinkling paper, whispering, watching someone paint (hello, Bob Ross!) or cook, and by gentle and attentive physical contact (getting a hair cut). This is not sexual but a pleasurable experience nonetheless!
Ass Play: Any type of sexual activity involving the ass.
Autoerotic Asphyxiation: Autoerotic asphyxiation is the act of purposely restricting the flow of oxygen to the brain to enhance the strength of orgasm. This act is usually practiced by those who are more hardcore and experienced at S&M and does come with obvious risks.
Awaken The Bacon
Awaken The Bacon: To stimulate the penis into an erection.
Bare Back: Any sexual act without the use of a condom
Bartholin's Glands: Two pea-sized glands that are adjacent to the vaginal opening on either sides of the labia that surround the vagina and urethra. They provide minimal fluid that acts as lubrication to moisten the outer area of the vulva. However, the actual function of these glands are still unknown.
BDSM: This acronym breaks down into: Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission, Sadism & Masochism. These are the three main subcategories of BDSM and each category leads to a whole new world of fetish and sex play. Involves dominance and submission. Bondage and discipline. A fetish that may include, role playing, restraints, whips/crops, leather wear and gags.
Bear : Used to describe a specific identity within a the gay sexual orientation. Bear is generally heard in reference to a gay male who is rather large in weight and heavily covered in hair.
Being Serviced (sexually)
Being Serviced (sexually): Play which involves just that. The Dominant is instructing the submissive to do exactly how He/She wants the submissive to perform sexually.
Bi-curious: Someone who is primarily attracted to the opposite sex, although may be interested in or curious about sex or a relationship with someone of the same sex.
Big: (See: CGD- Caregiver Dom)
Bisexual: A person who is romantically and sexually attracted to people of both the opposite sex and the same sex. Synonyms: gay guy, happy shopper, playing for both sides/teams, switch hitter.
Biting: Scenes involving the biting of the skin to induce pain. Safety Note: Although certain types of nibbling/biting are quite safe, extreme biting causing breaking/bleeding of the skin is not recommended and can be dangerous if not carefully done.
Blow Job: The act of oral sex performed on a man
Bondage & Fetish
Bondage & Fetish: Derived from a term for slavery, Bondage has come to mean sexual slavery, particularly dealing with the simple practice of restraining one's parter to beds, posts, from ceilings, etc. Usually entails either rope (asian forms) or leather, chains, and other equipment specially designed for the purpose (western.)
Boot Worship: (See also: Foot Worship, Homage, High Heels) The practice of play involving a fetish for boots/shoes. Commonly used for domination and humiliation practices (i.e. licking or cleaning of the dominant's boots, shoes or bare feet).
Bottom: A person who's interest is strictly the physical aspect of receiving in sexual play, usually bondage.
Breast Whipping: Whipping of the woman's/submissive's chest area using a variety of items which include: floggers, whips, cat tails, and paddles for erotic purposes.
Breath Control: (See also: Asphyxiation, Choking) Refers to play involving control of or restriction of air and /or oxygen to the brain. Other examples would be strangling, which is compression of the neck/throat area to prevent the flow of oxygen to the brain. Suffocation involves reducing the level of oxygen available to breathe; hanging where the body is suspended by the neck (remember, all these games are dangerous to play, either alone or with a partner).
Butch : Used to describe a specific identity within the lesbian sexual orientation. Butch is generally heard in reference to a masculine looking/acting lesbian/female.
Caning: (See also: Beating , Whipping ) Caning - Mostly made of bamboo, this whip is by far the most painful. Care should be used, as the welts from caning are slow to rise, and blood can be accidentally drawn if not in constant monitoring. Caning should be limited to the fleshy part of the buttocks, and nowhere else on the body. This can be very dangerous , and is not for the novice.
Castration Fantasy: (See also: Cutting, Knife Play) There has been much confusion as to the actual meaning of this term. This refers to removal of the testicles; however, some people use it for the removal of any/all sexual organs of either sex. The removal of the testicles is sometimes referred to as emasculation and a man who has had his testicles removed is referred to as a eunuch. This procedure causes permanent and significant changes to the body.
CGD- Caregiver Dom
CGD- Caregiver Dom: A sexual Dominant who enjoys caring for their submissive in a parental fashion. There is no peadophilia involved, just a desire to take care of a little. (See also: Little, Age Play)
Chapstick : Used to describe a specific identity within the lesbian sexual orientation. Chapstick is generally heard in reference to a lesbian who has more femininity however still shows a masculine side.
Chastity Belt: (See also: Enforced Chastity) In S/M circles, meaning the banning or physically preventing one (male or female) from achieving orgasm or any form of genital stimulation. A means of domination over one's submissive. A device (lockable) panty-type which when worn prevents any type of genital stimulation.
Choda: Formal name is the perineum. This is the area located between the scrotum and the anus. This is an extremely sensitive and pleasurable spot on a man's body.
Cisgender: This describes a person whose gender identity matches their biological sex.
Clitoral Hood: The soft pillow-like skin at the apex of a woman's vulva. This is designed to protect the clitoris and urethra alike from trauma and chafing. This is the female "foreskin" and becomes engorged and swollen when aroused, similar to a man's erection.
Clitoris: The Clitoris is a wishbone-shaped bundle of nerves that has over 8,000 unique nerve-endings - more nerves than found in the entire penis. This is the organ that produces the most orgasms in the majority of women. The clitoris is both internal and external, is about 7 inches long as a whole and is also erectile tissue that becomes stiff and swollen when aroused.
Clothes Pins - BDSM play
Clothes Pins - BDSM play : (See also Nipple Clamps) Small pinning devices used for hanging clothes. Generally used in BDSM play as quite effective nipple clamps, testicle clamps, etc. Great for the bargain BDSM player! Be sure the wood doesn't become stuck to the skin while removing, as it will remove skin from body.
Cock Ring: A ring that is slipped over an erection to the base of the penis in order to slow the loss of blood, thus maintaining an erection longer. These sex toys are made out of a variety of materials, including silicone, metal and rubber.
Cock Worship: (See also: Homage, Licking) Play which involves the fantasy of worshiping the cock. Performed mostly by the submissive to the dominant. Scenes might include licking and/or fellatio. Even some female dominants may use strap-ons that can be worshiped by the submissive male or female.
Cock/Penis Sheath/Sleeve: A prosthetic attachment meant to increase the size of a man's penis. While these sex toys can turn small men into cock stars, they often dull the sensation to the point of causing the man to lose his erection.
Coitus: Coitus is another term for penetrative sexual intercourse
Condom: A thin rubber sheath typically worn a penis during sexual intercourse as a contraceptive or as protection against infection.
Copulation: Copulation is another term for penetrative sexual intercourse
Cream Pie: Also referred to as an internal cum shot, a cream pie is when a man ejaculates and it oozes out vaginally or anally.
Cross Dresser: A person who dresses in clothing that is typically associated with a different gender.
Cub: Used to describe a specific identity within the gay sexual orientation. Cub is generally heard in reference to a gay male who is rather small (short/stout) and covered in a moderate amount of hair.
Cuckold: A man who gains sexual pleasure from watching or knowing that his wife is engaging in sexual activities with other men, sometimes watching willingly or being forced to watch.
Cuddle: To hold or embrace. Synonyms: aftermath, croodle, snuggle...
Cunnilingus: The act of oral sex performed on a female.
Cutting: Cutting the surface of the skin with sharp objects - generally a knife - for the thrill, sensation, or pain. To also create decorative scars. The same basic precautions apply as with other types of blood play. Remember to stay away from vital organ areas and genital cutting. (See also: Abrasion, Branding, Castration Fantasy, Knife Play)
Deep Throat: Deep throating is an oral sex technique that is easiest to perform by those with little to no gag reflex. The entire penis is taken into the throat while performing a blow job. There are also products designed to lessen gag reflex to make deep throating more comfortable.
Demisexual: Experiencing sexual attraction to a person only if there is a strong attachment and emotional bond.
Dental Dam: A dental dam is a piece of latex, available in flavors and used as a barrier on vulva or anus during oral sex. This barrier works much like a condom to avoid exchange of bodily fluids and prevent the transmission of STDs.
Dildo: A phallic shaped object used for sexual stimulation, they are commonly sex toys that do not have the ability to vibrate.
Doggy Style: A common sex act in which the top partner penetrates their bottom partner from behind.
Dollifcation: A process of evolving both mentally and physically into a doll-like state to take form as a “living doll". It is a form of role play that many couples enjoy involving one person being a doll and the other controlling it. The parties involved are often referred to as “Owner” and “Doll”; which is comparable to a Dom/Sub or Master/Slave relationship.
Dominant: A person, typically in the BDSM scene, who enjoys the mental and physical control over someone else (typically a submissive).
Double Penetration: When a woman is simultaneously penetrated anally and vaginally. Synonyms: sandwich.
Douche: Flushing out a vagina or anus with a water solution meant to flush fluids (semen, lube, etc) out or cleanse the orifice. Can be used to mask various odors or tastes, especially with the use of a stronger or scented cleansing solution. Douching is generally not recommended for vaginal use unless directed by a doctor as it can cause dryness, leaving the vagina prone to tearing and infection. Expelling fluids this way anally may also be referred to as an enema.
Edging: Getting yourself or your partner to the brink of orgasm, then stopping. This prevents you/them from finishing and increases a build up for a more intense orgasm.
Ejaculation: Emission of semen (usually carrying sperm) pushed into the urethra and through the tip of the penis. Usually occurs with a male orgasm and is usually the final stage of male sexual stimulation.
Electro Sex: Using electricity in BDSM play seems a scary notion to most people, but it can easily be made safe provided two simple rules are followed: a) only use devices powered by low-voltage batteries, and certainly no main-powered appliances; and b) avoid placing any contacts above the waist (including hands or arms), as even small currents to the heart or brain can disrupt those organs' delicate electrical activity with serious consequences. (See also: TENS Unit, Violet Wand)
Enforced Chastity: In BDSM S/M circles, meaning the banning or physically preventing one from achieving orgasm or any form of genital stimulation. A means of domination over one's submissive. A device (lockable) panty-type which when worn prevents any type of genital stimulation. (See also: Chastity Belt)
Erectile Dysfunction : E.D. for short, is the inability to develop or maintain an erection that is firm enough for penetrative sex. Also known as Impotence. It is suggested that E.D. affects around 40% of men. Causes can include: High/low blood pressure, poor circulation, obesity, depression, medication, alcoholism or inebriation, stress or anxiety.
Erogenous Zone: Any area of the body that has heightened sensitivity to sexual stimulation that promotes a sexual response such as relaxation or orgasm, not limited to just the genital regions.
Erotica: Literature and other art forms intended to trigger sexual feelings and desire.
Exhibitionism: Exhibitionism - Common dictionary term meaning a perversion marked by a tendency to indecent exposure; an act of such exposure; the act of practicing or behaving in such a manner as to attract attention to oneself. Scene involving the display of public/private exhibitionism in order to exert control and/or humiliation. NOTE: In many countries, this form of play is illegal and will get you arrested if caught by law enforcement.
Facial: When a man ejaculates on his partner’s face. Synonym: money shot.
Fantasy Rape: Scenes where the dominant fulfills a submissive's fantasy of rape. Note: This type of play can become quite emotional for the submissive, so use extreme care when performing this type of play. After care is extremely important.
Felching: Anal-felching / foofer-felching , chiefly gay usage, to lick or such semen ejaculated into the anus of a sex partner ; afterwards, it may be exchanged by the lovers during kissing.
Fellatio: Also known as a blow job, this is the act of performing oral sex on a man.
Female Ejaculation/Squirt: The point at which the G-spot has been massaged/stimulated that the woman relaxes her vaginal muscles and releases a fluid through her paraurethral ducts. The fluid is generally clear or white in colour and is similar to the prostatic fluid in men. The speed at which the fluid comes out is controlled by the strength of the internal muscles. Squirting refers to fluid exiting through the urethra, and gushing is fluid exiting through the vagina.
Femme: Used to define a specific identity within the lesbian sexual orientation. Femme is generally heard in reference to a overtly feminine looking lesbian/female.
Fetish: Sexual arousal resulting from a fixation with a specific act or thing. Some fetishes are so intense that a person has trouble reaching an orgasm unless they engages in, or at least fantasizes about, their fetish.
Fisting: The act of inserting a fist into an orifice in the body, usually the vagina or anus.
Flogger: (See also: Strapping, Whipping) A whip device usually with many "tails”. Used on buttocks or back, generally to make nerve sensations greater. Floggers can be used on the genital areas or can be used for play or punishment. This form of play is not for the novice, and can be dangerous.
Flogging Horse: A device used to secure one on this bench-like, padded, sawhorse. Usually made waist height, with the use of tethers attached to wall or floor to secure the submissive. A well designed horse will allow open spread usage of the submissive when mounted properly upon.
Frenulum: Also known as the male clitoris. It is a bundle of nerves found at the bottom of the head of the penis where the head meets the shaft. (It is a V-shape.) This is the most sensitive part of a man's penis, yet still only contains 1/10th the amount of nerves the clitoris has.
FTM/MTF: A person who has undergone medical treatments to change their biological sex (FTM = Female To Male; MTF = Male To Female)
Futch : Used to describe a specific identity within the lesbian sexual orientation. Futch is generally heard in reference to a lesbian who has more masculinity however still shows a feminine side.
G-Spot: A pocket of hyper sensitive nerve endings approximately 2 inches in the vagina, against the upper vaginal wall. To touch will feel like a "squishy cheerio" and to pleasure can cause female ejaculation.
G-Spot: The G-Spot was named after the doctor who first hypothesized its existence. Still not yet proven to be medical fact, the G-Spot is theorized to be a pocket of nerves related to the tail end of the clitoris, or a leftover pocket of nerves from where a prostate would be developed in a male fetus. The G-Spot provides women with internal orgasms often described as a wave of pleasure, and sometimes leads to squirting or gushing. It feels spongy to the touch and is about 2 inches below naval.
Gag: Any object used to obstruct a person's breathing or to prevent them from talking, especially during sex. A common sex toy in BDSM play.
Gates of Hell
Gates of Hell : A type of cock ring worn around the base of the testicles and penis to restrict blood flow to the penis during erotic scening. Specially designed, this type of cock ring is usually made of metal and has several rings attached together, ranging from the largest at the base and going smaller toward the tip.
Gay: When someone is sexually and romantically attracted to people of one’s same sex. It can refer to men or women.
Gay Pride Day/Week
Gay Pride Day/Week: Christopher Street Liberation Day on June 28 marks the anniversary of the Stonewall riots of 1970, where the first Gay Pride march in U.S. history was held, covering the 51 blocks to Central Park in NYC. Gay Pride is held world-wide as a solemn remembrance of atrocities committed against LGBTQ people all over the world, and to celebrate achievements in LGBTQ Civil Rights. The largest Gay Pride event in Canada is held in Toronto, centered around Church and Wellesley Village and Yonge Street.
Gender Fluid : Gender fluidity describes someone who is not limited to expressing themselves as male or female. Individuals that identify as gender fluid generally flow naturally between 2 or many genders.
Gender Identity: A person's inner feelings and understanding about being a man, a woman, neither or a combination. Sometimes, these feelings will match one's sex organs, called being cisgender. Or a person may be transgender, meaning their inner sense and understanding of their gender does not match their sex organs.
Gender Neutral: When the gender of a person or something that can be used by people is not specified or could apply to people of any gender. For example, the terms “spouse” and “partner” are gender-neutral alternatives to the gender-specific words “husband” and “wife.” Public restrooms that do not have the label “men’s room” or “women’s room” are gender neutral and can be used by a person of any gender.
Gender Non-Binary: Used to describe someone who doesn't identify as either male nor female. (See also: Gender Fluid, Gender Queer)
Genderqueer: A way of describing one's gender that does not include the current terms of man, woman or transgender. Similar to how some people have taken back the negativity of the term queer because they don’t feel the categories of sexual orientation describe accurately who they are, someone who identifies as “genderqueer” may not feel like the terms man, woman or transgender accurately reflect how they feel.
Glycerin: Also known as Glycerol, this is a simple sugar alcohol usually derived from plants. Glycerin is sweet to the taste, non-toxic, and does not cause allergies. However, in high concentrations it feels warm which might "burn" people with sensitive skin. It is a humectant and is hygroscopic (it absorbs moisture from the air around it). It is used as a binding agent, preservative, and moisturizer in lubricants and is what gives most lube its slippery feel. Animal-based glycerin may cause irritation.
Golden Shower: This is the same as water sports, the act of urinating onto someone.
Greek Sex: Greek sex is another term used for anal sex.
Hairbrush Spanking: Play which involves the use of a hairbrush to inflict pain on the buttocks. Commonly used in "naughty boy/girl" scenes for punishment.
Hard Limit: A hard limit is commonly a term used within BDSM. It is an act that the participants know and agree upon that must not be done and is not negotiable while participating in a scene.
Humilation: To humiliate the submissive by requiring them to perform things they normally would not do, most commonly in public (i.e.wearing revealing clothing, having sex in public, playing out puppy, boy/girl scenes, etc).
Hymen: The membrane that occludes the vagina. While the hymen can be ruptured for the first time during sex, it can also be broken a number of other ways such as exercise, injury, or tampon use.
Not all women naturally have a hymen, and some hymens can stay intact through sex and even childbirth.
Ice Play: Ice used on nipples or genital areas for desensitization of senses or nerves.
Infantalism: Acting as an infant or toddler, sometimes regressing so far as to not use words and only babble and baby talk. May also include wearing diapers and onesies, and using a pacifier and blankie. (See also: Age Play)
Initiation Rites - BDSM
Initiation Rites - BDSM : A *Term* meaning the rites, ceremonies, and/or ordeals by which an individual is made a member of a house or society. Example: College initiations ("hell week") more commonly known as "beat-in" or "earning letters", such as pain slut.
Intersex: A person born with a combination of genitals and/or chromosomes that are different from an XY male with a penis and testicles or an XX female with a vulva, vagina and ovaries. Intersex people may have XO, XXY, XYY or any other combination of chromosomes and anatomy.
Intricate Rope Play
Intricate Rope Play: Intricate (Japanese) Rope Bondage - A very complex form of bondage that is also quite beautiful to not only see but witness being performed. The submissive is also bonded in such a way as to allow easy access / removal of the device at any time. (See also: Bondage, Immobilization, Shibari)
Jawbreaker: A large penis.
Kegel: Also known as the pubococcygeus (PC) muscle. To perform kegel exercises ("pelvic floor exercises") means to exercise the "PC" muscle to strengthen it. This is done by squeezing it repeatedly, sometimes with the aid of a toy or product. Both men and women have this muscle and strengthening it leads to a tighter vagina, stronger orgasms, and prevent prolapse in women (as well as faster childbirth recovery), and longer-lasting sexual intercourse in men. In both sexes it can prevent incontinence.
Labia Majora: The thicker, outer lips of the vagina.
Labia Minora: The thin, inner folds of skin within the outer vaginal lips. Synonyms: nymphae.
Lesbian: An individual who is physiologically female (biological or trans) or identifies as such and is attracted to other females or female-identifying persons.
LGBT: An acronym which stands in for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender and along with heterosexual they describe people's sexual orientation or gender identity.
LGBTQ: This term stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (or questioning). Although there are more letters included, "LGBTQ" is used for short. Identities such as intersex, asexual, and two-spirited are also included. It refers to identities of both sexual orientation and gender identity that are different from the norm (aka not straight and not cisgender).
Lifestyle: This word is typically used to describe swingers, their social and sexual interactions.
Lipstick : Used to describe a specific identity within a the lesbian sexual orientation. Lipstick is generally heard in reference to a lesbian who exudes femininity.
Little: A fetishist who portrays a child-like persona, possibly engaging in age-play. See Age Play/ Middle/ Lolita
Lolita: Victorian style clothing typically worn in Japan by adolescent girls.
A Lolita in BDSM terms is one who mentally regresses to adolescence and often dresses and acts like a pre-teen or teen. (See also: Middle, Age Play)
Masochism: Sexual excitement and pleasure produced by experiencing pain and humiliation.
Masturbation : Manual self-stimulation of one's genital/intimate areas using hands or other aides such as sex toys.
Medical Scenes: Done in a room equipped and fitted as a physicians or surgeons office. This is a form of role play, where cavity exams, piercing, the use of needles, scalpels, equipment sounds are generally found.Some forms of this play is illegal, and can be dangerous.
Methylparaben: Methylparaben is an anti-fungal agent often used in a variety of cosmetics and personal-care products. It is also used as a food preservative and can be found in some lubricants. Generally recognized as safe, it is absorbed through skin or digestion and is rapidly excreted through urine without accumulating in the body.
Middle: Age regression to the point of adolescence. Middles will typically regress to the same age every time, usually around pre-teen up to 18. (See also: Lolita, Age Play)
Mummification: A specialized kind of bondage in which the whole body (including the head, if a breathing tube is used) is wrapped tightly to prevent any type of mobilization. Common types of materials are saran wrap, gaffa tape, or cloth or latex bandages. Holes are then sometimes made to allow access to the genital area. This form of play is dangerous and should always have extra help around in case of an emergency. (See also: Bondage, Immobilization, Sleep Sack)
Munch: An informal party or gathering for those in the BDSM community to meet and socialize. Munchs usually take place at restaurants and coffee shops and people are free to come and go as they please within the specified time frame. Fetish attire is often discouraged at these events as they're casual get-togethers.
Nipple Clamps: Clamp-type devices placed on the nipples during play to stimulate and stop blood flow to the nipple. One of the general household items to be used are clothespins. Care should be exercised to be sure the material used in clamp does not stick to the skin as tearing can occur. (See also: Clothespins)
Nubile: A young, attractive woman who has just reached sexual maturity.
Nymphomaniac: A person who is psychologically addicted to, or dependent on, sex. Synonyms: satyriasis, sex addict, uteromania.
Orgasm Control: When one is forced to release or hold their body's desires to orgasm. Can be used in play or punishment.
Orgy: Group sex. Synonyms: bunch punch, club sandwich, crew screw, daisy chain, fourgy, fuckathon, gang bang, group grope, nacho salad, run a train, team cream, three way
Otter: Used to describe a specific identity within a the gay sexual orientation. Otter is generally heard in reference to a gay male who is average or thin in structure and heavily covered in hair.
Packing : The act of wearing padding and or phallic objects such as dildos and “packers” underneath clothing to simulate the appearance of a penis.
Pansexuality: The sexual attraction to a person of any gender or sexual identity. An individual who identifies as pansexual does not see gender as a contributing factor in either sexual or emotional relationships.
Partner: A gender neutral term to describe a person's significant other, both sexually and in terms of a relationship.
Pegging : A term often used for the sex act in which a woman preforms penetrative anal sex on a man using a strap-on dildo.
Phthalates: Phthalates are a group of man-made chemical compounds structurally related to organic acid, phthalic acid. Pthalates are used mainly in plastics and PVC as plasticizers. As more research is done, there has been documented health risks associated with phthalates that we all come into contact with on a daily basis.
Pillow Princess: A person who is generally a "taker" or is unreceptive in sexual situations. The term "pillow princess" describes someone who would have their head in the pillow or on the pillow and that's where is stays while they are being treated in a royal capacity. Typically a derogatory term; a pillow princess receives pleasure in the bedroom and does not reciprocate.
Polyamory: Polyamory is the term used to describe a romantic relationship between multiple consenting partners.
Pony Gear: This type of gear includes hoods, bits for mouth, bridles, straps, harnesses, saddles and anal plug tails - some use hoof shoes as well. These are used to “train” a submissive to be used for work as a pony. This can be very dangerous as joints, limbs or back maybe damaged.
Pony Slave - BDSM
Pony Slave - BDSM: Scenes involving the submissive being dressed or made up as to portray a "pony”. Scenes might include mouth bits, harnesses, saddles, riding crops, etc. Note: Riding your pony can cause serious injuries to their backs, hips and joints.
Propylparaben: Propylparaben is manufactured synthetically for use in cosmetics, pharmaceuticals and foods. It is a preservative typically found in many water-based cosmetics, such as creams, lotions, shampoos, bath products and some lubricants.
Prostate Gland: Also known as the male G-Spot, it is a walnut-sized gland that surrounds the urethra in men. Through the anus, the prostate gland and the root of the penis can be stimulated to create a sexual response.
Pussy Whipping: "Whipping" the genital (vagina) area with different types of equipment (i.e. floggers, crops, slappers, etc.) for erotic pleasure. See also: Licking
Pussy Worship: The practice of play involving the "worship" of the female genitalia. Scenes may involve the cleaning, licking, shaving, etc. In general, "worship" is a form of erotic play.
Questioning: A person who is unsure/undecided on their sexual identity or orientation.
Quickie: A sexual encounter that is short lived, often due to time constraints or to avoid detection.
Rack: A table-like device which is fitted with pulling or stretching capabilities. Some racks incorporate pulleys, winches or wheels for pulling one in opposing directions. Paddles or whips are generally used on the person on a rack.
Riding Crop : A short whip-type instrument made of leather with a "loop" at the end which is intended for use on horses. May be used in scenes involving pony boy/girl type play. Riding crops are used to administer punishment, as well as a directional tool.
Rim Job: The act of using your tongue in or around the anus, also referred to as "tossing a salad".
S&M: Sadism and Masochism
Sadism: Sadism is defined as the practice of achieving sexual gratification from hurting and humiliating others.
Saint Andrews Cross
Saint Andrews Cross: This is a cross made in an X formation. It is generally angled and self-supporting. Some are suspended from ceilings, or mounted directly to a wall. The cross has leather restraints for arms, legs and body, Some have hooks along the edges for a person to be laced to the cross. Used for sexual play, or punishment can be administered while attached to the cross.
Sensory Deprivation: Play which involves "depriving" the submissive of certain sensory perceptions. May include blindfolds, bondage, gags, etc.
Sexual Identity: How someone personally describes their sexual orientation. For example, gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual. Although labels are used within the LGBTQ community, they are fluid and some individuals will "change" their label over their life to best suit their identity. It is a personal matter and therefore not okay to assume anyone's identity or to say that it is anything other than what it is.
Sexual Orientation: How someone defines who/what they are sexually attracted to. Examples; Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual
Smegma : A combination of skin oils, secretions, dead skin cells and bacteria that can appear under the foreskin in men or the hood of the clitoris in women if not cleaned thoroughly or consistently. Typically smells like foul cheese.
Soft Limit: A soft limit means that the person hesitates about or places strict conditions on, but for which they may still give informed consent. An action could be prohibited except under specific circumstances or an area of discomfort that someone wishes to avoid. Soft limits can also include actions that require a cautious approach or — while somewhat appealing — still generate an uncomfortable amount of apprehension in one or more partners.
Speculum - BDSM
Speculum - BDSM: A medical instrument used commonly for the examination of the vagina or rectum, made of steel or plastic in the shape of a duckbill. The speculum should be lubricated then inserted. After insertion, the "bill" is spread apart to open the cervix in the vagina. In BDSM play, it is used in medical scening. This form of play can be dangerous and is not intended for beginners.
Sphincter Muscles: There are two sets of sphincter muscles: interior & exterior. The interior muscle is the "Squeeze and Release" muscles, also known as the "pucker" muscle. The exterior muscle is the "O-ring". This is an emergency set of muscles and the strongest of the anal muscles designed to prevent "accidents". The exterior muscles will not relax if the interior muscles are not relaxed, thus making foreplay essential for enjoyable anal play.
Sploshing: Sploshing is the use of wet and messy substances, spreading them all over the body. Commonly used for sploshing are whipped cream, chocolate syrup and anything else wet and messy for the purpose of arousal.
Spreader Bar: (See also: Bondage ) A bar type device used to "spread" apart arms / legs of the submissive. Bars can be made of common, inexpensive materials such as dowel rods, pvc pipe, broomsticks, etc.
Stocks - BDSM
Stocks - BDSM: A type of bondage "furniture" based on the medieval form of stocks used for punishment. Stocks usually consist of two hinged pieces of wood with semi-circular holes which when locked together form a ring large enough for the head/neck and wrists to be placed inside.
Stone: Someone who enjoys pleasuring others but does not want to be touched sexually. Often confused with Asexual.
Strap-On: A strap-on dildo (also strap-on, strapon or dildo harness) is a dildo designed to be worn, usually with a harness, during sexual activity.
Strap-On : A dildo that harnesses to it's wearer using various methods. The harness is usually adjustable for individual comfort and fit. This allows controlled penetration to occur. On the backwards motion the wearer will pull the dong out of their partner and on the forward motion the dong will be thrusted deeper into the partner.
Submisive: A person, typically in the BDSM scene, who enjoys being mentally and physically controlled by someone else (typically a dominant).
Subspace: A mental altered state in which a person can be taken to. Space is a form of hypnotism that can be self attained, or a dominant can aid to obtain. Subspace is used for sexual pleasure, and can be utilized to convert pain to pleasure. After care is mandatory, as is constant monitoring.
Swinger: This term describes couples that actively perform sexual acts with other couples or individuals. This includes voying, swapping, threesomes, and group play.
Switch - BDSM
Switch - BDSM: One who "switches" between dominant/submissive roles (i.e. from scene-to-scene or within a scene). Some switches may submit to one dominant, and dominate others, etc.
Teabag: The act of testicles being placed in a mouth or on a face, typically in a dipping, or in-and-out like motion. Teabagging is often used for pleasure but can also used as a prank (such as done to the first person to fall asleep at a party).
TENS Unit: Term meaning Transcutaneous Electrical Neural Stimulation Unit. A machine designed to apply electrical impulses to the body at safe levels. Note: As with any type of electrical play, safety precautions should be observed as this form of play is very dangerous. (See also: Electricity, Violet Wand)
Top: A person who's interest is strictly the physical aspect of giving in sexual play, including bondage.
Transexual: A term that describes a person who was born one biological sex but who feels strongly enough that she or he is a different sex to have sex realignment surgery. Someone who is transsexual can be non-operative, which means they do not wish to change their sex characteristics; pre-operative, which means they have begun the process of changing their sex characteristics, but have not yet had the surgery; and post-operative, which means they have completed the process of genital surgery.
Transgender: An umbrella term used to refer to any person who does not completely identify with their biological sex. Terms such as gender fluid and gender neutral can also fall under this term. Although part of the LGBTQ/rainbow community, transgender is a gender identity and different from a sexual orientation.
Truffle Butter: The act of removing the penis from the anal cavity and continuing the intercourse via the vaginal opening. The tan buttery substance that is left over is referred to as "truffle butter"
Twink: Used to describe a specific identity within a the gay sexual orientation. Twink is used to reference a gay male who is young, attractive, and generally exudes more femininity.
Urethra: The tube that transports urine out of the bladder. Also, in men, the pathway through which seminal fluid is ejaculated.
Urethra Play: The act of inserting objects into the urethra to inflict a mixture or pleasure and pain. Synonyms: Sounding.
Urethral Sounding: The process of dilating the urethra by inserting a plug or probe (Sound). Originally a medical procedure, however is commonly used to stimulate the male urethra's high-responsive nerve endings for sexual pleasure.
Vagina: This only refers to the internal parts of a woman's genitals. The vagina is also known as the "love tunnel".
Vaginismus: ("Vaginism") is the physical or psychological condition that affects a woman's ability to engage in vaginal penetration due to the vagina "closing up". It is believed to be caused by an involuntary vaginal muscle spasm that makes any form of penetration painful. The response cannot be controlled, and is likened to an eye shutting closed when something comes near it. This condition is also linked to PTSD. The best "remedy" for this is to use a vaginal dilator kit.
Vanilla: Describes someone who mainly enjoys basic forms of sexual acts. They are generally uninterested in other more "extreme" types of play such as Kink/BDSM, anal, fetish play, etc. Often labeled as boring, vanilla doesn't mean someone is bad in bed, just that they like to keep things simple.D
Violet Wand: (See also: Electricity , TENS Unit ) A device used in electrical play which discharges radio energy when touched to the body & produces electrical sparks. The sensation is similar to "static cling" charges; higher voltage feels like a getting a tattoo. Using electricity seems scary to most people, but it can easily be made safe provided two simple rules are followed: only use devices powered by low-voltage batteries, and certainly no main-powered appliances.
Virginity: Having never engaged in sexual intercourse. The concept of virginity has been widely debated in regards to gay and lebian people, as it implies virginity is intact until penile/vaginal penetration has occurred. Biologically virginity means nothing as the body typically doesn't change after the loss of virginity, except for those women who tear their hymen upon first intercourse. (See also: Hymen)
Voyeur: A person who is aroused by watching others in the nude or performing sexual acts, usually in real life. (Therefore not including watching videos, etc.) Also referred to as a "peeping Tom".
Vulva: The correct term for female external genitalia as a whole. Although commonly referred to as a "vagina", the vagina is the vaginal opening itself (and the tunnel within) whereas vulva refers to the labia, mons pubis, etc. inclusively.
Wartenberg Wheel: Originally designed by Robert Wartenberg, this is a pinwheel covered in dull spikes that is rolled across the skin for sensation play. When used gently, it provides a light tickle which stimulates sensitive skin in a pleasurable way. When used roughly, it can provide an intense pricking sensation that people who like a little more pain enjoy.
Water Sports: Any type of sexual play that involves urine or enemas.
Wet: Being sexually aroused. Specifically refers to when a woman's vaginal fluids are flowing in advance of penetration.
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